It was a sun-drenched morning of shifting lights. There was something magical about the shadows the trees cast about us as we sat together in the dust. An affair that lasted eight weeks was finally drawing to an end. Would we ever see each other again? Would we ever again talk, encourage, disagree, agree to disagree, and finally cheer each other on? Tell each other we must follow our hearts? That destiny had brought us together?
There in the dust, we read to each other. Our voices mingling and disentangling. Our laughter changing the air. Our hands clutching trophies of our brief engagement. It was a sunny, dreamy morning. Joy was beaming over us as we let our desires cross paths.
We are so different. Yet when we came together, we were good for each other. We know it. We cannot utter it, though, and give life to what had become the greatest pleasure of our lives. We are saying it, but also not articulating it. We have something in common – words. We were weaving them around each other from the threads of our own lives. As we work away, though, we are fearful that we are foolish dreamers. We are weary of life. We are wondering where we are headed. We want time off to grab hold of our dreams gliding above us. We want to fly like birds let loose after years of captivity. We move from one day to another with deep longings that we hide from each other. Our lives haven’t been the same.
Perhaps we are partners in crime because we all dared to dream. We were pushing limits. Maybe it was just that this time and place was right for us. There was nothing more to it than that. Because times change. Seasons come and go.
We were together for a few hours, our exchanges were relaxed. The weekends could not have begun more meaningfully. We laughed. We ranted. Sometimes we just exchanged looks. They spoke of silent understanding or slight incredulity. Could we believe what we were telling each other? Could we be more significant to each other? Could we together bite off more than we could chew and live to see our dreams be granted flesh and bones?
I challenged myself to come up with a word each to describe these people I had come to love, albeit briefly. Would someone, anyone, everyone be interested in our stories? And so the only word that came to my mind for each of them was – ballsy.
I choose the word ‘love’ even though it is strong. Most of all because it is all encompassing. And they are all the same to me. They are all precious. But they are also a fleeting fantasy. You see, we are not friends yet. And yet we do see a little into each other’s souls.
The women. I am attracted to them. I am admitting I am turned on by their beautiful eyes. The uniquely crafted windows to their souls. I will always look back and remember the women. Each of them gorgeous in their own special way. Each of them possessing distinctive abilities to tell stories that silenced the rest of us. I am attracted to the men. In a cerebral way. I am entertained by their tales of wanderlust, loneliness, and boredom. I am curious to know the effect their dilemmas had on them. I am comforted by the ease in the room when we are all together. And the opportunity to have a life of my own during the week. Until I see them again.
I may never be intimate with them again. Or must I be my loving self and try to keep this going? Bring a little romance into all of our lives by keeping up the listening, the understanding, the appreciation, the encouragement. Draw out this affair. Would I be able to make time to send the handwritten notes I have become known for? Could I be brave enough to make that commitment?
But then, this really was the end. I may never ever see them again. I sat in the dust, uncaring that I was spoiling a favourite outfit. I looked at the faces around me. This lot that had the courage to call themselves writers. I was one of them. And in a short time, they had brought out the best in me. I could not have chosen a better bunch to flirt with. I am looking forward to them all being able to touch their dreams. Of writing. Of telling stories. I am wishing them all fullness of life. And I do not believe I have to say the word – Goodbye.
I did not. I left behind a hug and a promise instead. A coffee date with any of them who were willing. The rainbow in our otherwise meaningless futures. Meaningless because none of us would be able to enjoy deep breaths if we each could not have our way with words. No matter what else changes, that will remain.
The dream of every writer is to be read. And to be read and appreciated by as many people as possible. BWW makes that dream a reality.
BWW Star is a writer who has worked with us at BWW and whose work amused, moved, inspired, and/or made a difference in our lives. We are sure you will enjoy and be encouraging too.
BWW is proud to present our Star – Jessu Goodfellow. BWW celebrated the last workshop of the first batch in Cubbon Park, Bangalore, with readings from the first batch of writers, a literary discussion, and tons of food! This experience served as inspiration for Jessu. A very promising writer from our first BWW, Jessu, shares her experience of being part of our 8 weeks long workshop in this nostalgic piece.
Jessu Goodfellow is a Branding and Communications professional based in Bangalore, India. She loves the joys and challenges of a corporate career, but would choose to write if she was given only a day to live. She dreams of running a lot these days and is planning to do her first ever 6km run in a couple of months. Music, dance and theatre are also on the cards for this “foolish dreamer” – at least if she can help it. She loves listening to anyone’s story. And someday she will tell her own. She would love it if you followed and shared her latest blog ‘Force of Dreams’ and linked with her on Twitter.
Encourage our BWW Star
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Verily, it’s easy to fall in love with each other when you already have a common bond. Have you ever felt an instant connection with people? Do you identify with Jessu’s experience? Encourage Jessu. Leave a comment.
Also, don’t hesitate to claim this experience for yourself. Join our workshop. The next one begins on 31 March, 2012. Apply here.